Insultathon

Mzebonga allows you the chance to show off your Insulting skills. Do you worst: he's probably already heard it!
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2005 archives: Jan.Feb.Mar.Apr.May.Jun.Jul.Aug.Sep.Oct.Nov.Dec

May 2005

1.2.3

Week 21

i luv u so much - jimmy
Awww... Thanks, little jimmy.

I pay you enough so you should!
Quality: Your score for Quality was 1 Originality: Your score for Originality was 4Your score for Originality was 4Your score for Originality was 4Your score for Originality was 4 Vulgarity: You scored nothing for Vulgarity
Overall: Your score for Overall was 7Your score for Overall was 7Your score for Overall was 7Your score for Overall was 7Your score for Overall was 7Your score for Overall was 7Your score for Overall was 7 (35%)
Posted on Tuesday, 24th May 2005
 

Week 20

you dirty, pissy knicker sniffing - child molstering , ASBO breaking paedo king, felching cottage frequenter - elderly menacer, cathater wound fucking piss ant. - Raoul Duke
Firstly, it's "molesting" not "molestering". Secondly, if you didn't shit and piss your knickers, it would just be "knicker sniffing".

The rest just refers to the fact that I'm not fussy about the people I date. Anything is a bonus when you look and act like I do.
Quality: Your score for Quality was 2Your score for Quality was 2 Originality: Your score for Originality was 3Your score for Originality was 3Your score for Originality was 3 Vulgarity: Your score for Vulgarity was 4Your score for Vulgarity was 4Your score for Vulgarity was 4Your score for Vulgarity was 4
Overall: Your score for Overall was 12Your score for Overall was 12Your score for Overall was 12Your score for Overall was 12Your score for Overall was 12Your score for Overall was 12Your score for Overall was 12Your score for Overall was 12Your score for Overall was 12Your score for Overall was 12Your score for Overall was 12Your score for Overall was 12 (60%)
Posted on Wednesday, 18th May 2005
 
You should sleep on the freeway and become a nasty stain. You make me want to have sex with an emu. - bEfUzzlEd
That's really two concepts there. Yes, I should, becoming a stain would ease my pain and yours. What a selfless thing it would be to do.

Otherwise, I make people want to have sex. It's my natural charisma and charm. I imagine that Emu is lonely now Rod Hull is dead, anyway.
Quality: Your score for Quality was 3Your score for Quality was 3Your score for Quality was 3 Originality: Your score for Originality was 3Your score for Originality was 3Your score for Originality was 3 Vulgarity: Your score for Vulgarity was 3Your score for Vulgarity was 3Your score for Vulgarity was 3
Overall: Your score for Overall was 12Your score for Overall was 12Your score for Overall was 12Your score for Overall was 12Your score for Overall was 12Your score for Overall was 12Your score for Overall was 12Your score for Overall was 12Your score for Overall was 12Your score for Overall was 12Your score for Overall was 12Your score for Overall was 12 (60%)
Posted on Monday, 16th May 2005
 
Get leprosy and have some limbs fall off. You look like you would get leprosy. - bEfUzzlEd
It's the new and improved way to lose weight!
Quality: Your score for Quality was 4Your score for Quality was 4Your score for Quality was 4Your score for Quality was 4 Originality: Your score for Originality was 5Your score for Originality was 5Your score for Originality was 5Your score for Originality was 5Your score for Originality was 5 Vulgarity: Your score for Vulgarity was 2Your score for Vulgarity was 2
Overall: Your score for Overall was 15Your score for Overall was 15Your score for Overall was 15Your score for Overall was 15Your score for Overall was 15Your score for Overall was 15Your score for Overall was 15Your score for Overall was 15Your score for Overall was 15Your score for Overall was 15Your score for Overall was 15Your score for Overall was 15Your score for Overall was 15Your score for Overall was 15Your score for Overall was 15 (75%)
Posted on Monday, 16th May 2005
 
You smelly rectum! Why don't you lick a crude jackal and stick a bunch of mouses up your face? - bEfUzzlEd
Why don't you stop mixing adjectives, animals and computer equipment in strange ways to make up insults. It disturbs me.
Quality: Your score for Quality was 2Your score for Quality was 2 Originality: Your score for Originality was 4Your score for Originality was 4Your score for Originality was 4Your score for Originality was 4 Vulgarity: Your score for Vulgarity was 1
Overall: Your score for Overall was 9Your score for Overall was 9Your score for Overall was 9Your score for Overall was 9Your score for Overall was 9Your score for Overall was 9Your score for Overall was 9Your score for Overall was 9Your score for Overall was 9 (45%)
Posted on Monday, 16th May 2005
 
Make the world a better place and stick a truck in your eye. - bEfUzzlEd
Actually stick it in my eye? That could be difficult. I mean, i could have it run over my eye. Or maybe find a way to fracture my eye socket.

Actually putting it in my eye would be quite a feat! Should I contact the Guiness Book of World Records or something?
Quality: Your score for Quality was 2Your score for Quality was 2 Originality: Your score for Originality was 5 (You get stars if you do really well!)Your score for Originality was 5 (You get stars if you do really well!)Your score for Originality was 5 (You get stars if you do really well!)Your score for Originality was 5 (You get stars if you do really well!)Your score for Originality was 5 (You get stars if you do really well!) Vulgarity: You scored nothing for Vulgarity
Overall: Your score for Overall was 9Your score for Overall was 9Your score for Overall was 9Your score for Overall was 9Your score for Overall was 9Your score for Overall was 9Your score for Overall was 9Your score for Overall was 9Your score for Overall was 9 (45%)
Posted on Monday, 16th May 2005
 
Are you a sheep's stomach, or just a scummy scumy surprisingly stupid stupidly stupid sheep? - bEfUzzlEd
I am a Haggis. Which is very close to both of the above.

But less pleasant to eat.
Quality: Your score for Quality was 2Your score for Quality was 2 Originality: Your score for Originality was 4Your score for Originality was 4Your score for Originality was 4Your score for Originality was 4 Vulgarity: Your score for Vulgarity was 1
Overall: Your score for Overall was 9Your score for Overall was 9Your score for Overall was 9Your score for Overall was 9Your score for Overall was 9Your score for Overall was 9Your score for Overall was 9Your score for Overall was 9Your score for Overall was 9 (45%)
Posted on Monday, 16th May 2005
 

Week 19

You irredeemably trumped-up smidgen of blowfish shit, I would rather stroll along Skegness seafront in a cardigan than admit to belonging to the same species as you. You are related to Dave Lee Travis. Your ugliness is the direct cause of all meteorological aberrations and your aroma only serves to make nuclear waste seem environmentally tolerable.

Lepers avoid you. Mosquitoes disown you and even pheasant, the most stupid of animals, serve themselves up with a redcurrant and scotch whiskey sauce, potato rosti, mange tout and fennel puree at the very thought of you actually being in the same country. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, and the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?

Don't you know that you are pathetic? You worthless bag of filth. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You are a monster, an ogre, and a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a genital wart.

You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, and a weasel. No, you're not a weasel; you're a stoat. A stoat is lower. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You should have been relieved of any brain function the moment you hatched out of that pod in that skip in Towcester.

You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are a degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you. You are a bloody clueless, vacant twit. A protohominid, chromosomally aberrant caricature of pond scum. And I wish you would go away.

You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.

You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.

If you aren't an idiot, you made a world-class effort at simulating one. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of phlegm. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. And crabs.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have waived the white flag. Stupid become so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularly stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. Page 3 stupid. Bill Clinton stupid. I'm sorry. I can't go on.

The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional and social struggles.

Ahhh! Some of my best work in a long time. - Geoff

Dear Geoff,

From the bottom of my heart might I thank you for your kind insult?

Given your penchant for slow cooking, I understand that you must be a man of deliberation and patience. This shows quite distinctly. Not only did your insult not consist of the formulaic bullcrap that the pre-pubescent scum that usually frequent my website, it made numerous humorous and absurd references the likes of which only people with an appreciation for the enunciation of words would understand. Towcester is certainly an amusing place name that I shall be remembering for future reference.

It is insults like yours that make the whole venture worthwhile, knowing that someone of some intelligence is out there and taking the time to come up with a well structured and well thought through insult. Truly; you are a worthy adversary.

My thanks for your time and consideration,

Tiki
Quality: Your score for Quality was 5 (You get stars if you do really well!)Your score for Quality was 5 (You get stars if you do really well!)Your score for Quality was 5 (You get stars if you do really well!)Your score for Quality was 5 (You get stars if you do really well!)Your score for Quality was 5 (You get stars if you do really well!) Originality: Your score for Originality was 5 (You get stars if you do really well!)Your score for Originality was 5 (You get stars if you do really well!)Your score for Originality was 5 (You get stars if you do really well!)Your score for Originality was 5 (You get stars if you do really well!)Your score for Originality was 5 (You get stars if you do really well!) Vulgarity: Your score for Vulgarity was 5 (You get stars if you do really well!)Your score for Vulgarity was 5 (You get stars if you do really well!)Your score for Vulgarity was 5 (You get stars if you do really well!)Your score for Vulgarity was 5 (You get stars if you do really well!)Your score for Vulgarity was 5 (You get stars if you do really well!)
Overall: Your score for Overall was 20Your score for Overall was 20Your score for Overall was 20Your score for Overall was 20Your score for Overall was 20Your score for Overall was 20Your score for Overall was 20Your score for Overall was 20Your score for Overall was 20Your score for Overall was 20Your score for Overall was 20Your score for Overall was 20Your score for Overall was 20Your score for Overall was 20Your score for Overall was 20Your score for Overall was 20Your score for Overall was 20Your score for Overall was 20Your score for Overall was 20Your score for Overall was 20 (100%)
Posted on Wednesday, 11th May 2005
 
You're so ugly, you had to have tinted windows on your incubator. - flr
I am medium-pimpin'
Quality: Your score for Quality was 3Your score for Quality was 3Your score for Quality was 3 Originality: Your score for Originality was 4Your score for Originality was 4Your score for Originality was 4Your score for Originality was 4 Vulgarity: Your score for Vulgarity was 1
Overall: Your score for Overall was 11Your score for Overall was 11Your score for Overall was 11Your score for Overall was 11Your score for Overall was 11Your score for Overall was 11Your score for Overall was 11Your score for Overall was 11Your score for Overall was 11Your score for Overall was 11Your score for Overall was 11 (55%)
Posted on Monday, 9th May 2005
 
by the looks of things your mom must have given birth to you in a tree and you hit every branch on the way down - flr
I'm an obsessive-compulsive; if I'd have missed one it would have kept me awake at night.

And it had to be in order too. Top to bottom.
Quality: Your score for Quality was 2Your score for Quality was 2 Originality: You scored nothing for Originality Vulgarity: Your score for Vulgarity was 1
Overall: Your score for Overall was 4Your score for Overall was 4Your score for Overall was 4Your score for Overall was 4 (20%)
Posted on Monday, 9th May 2005
 
1.2.3
2005 archives: Jan.Feb.Mar.Apr.May.Jun.Jul.Aug.Sep.Oct.Nov.Dec