The ones you wear on your feet!! What a pointless piece of footwear. Bloody uncomfortable and bloody annoying. Even sodding Moses wasn't stupid enough to resort to wearing these. They don't stay on. They give you bunions, callouses and in-grown toenails. The insole fills up with sand, glass, chewing gum and discarded condoms. They're dangerous!! In fact they're nearly as useless as those things which cleave your ass in two!
For those of you who are not particularly antipodean, Thongs are flip-flops in Australia. It become apparent how ridulous the footwear is when no country in the world can come up with a sensible name for them.
Meh, I'm not a big lover of thongs, for a start they're too easy to take off, there's not enough of them to be sexy (I'm thinking aloud here but isn't it NICER when expectation is held back a while). They're a bit trashy too.
But first and foremost.
WHO WANTS TO HOLD SOMETHING THAT'S BEEN UP SOMEONE'S ARSE CRACK??
Let's face it, none of us should wear a thong.
*DISCLAIMER* The articles portrayed in this post were discovered before I entered a full loving relationship and therefore no act of infidelity would have occured in relationship to it.
In september, the day after Psymon and I broke the house in with it's first party, after much revelry including a large telephone book fire in the back garden, birthday cake covering most floors, myself rolling drunkenly in a pile of custard cream biscuits and plenty of broken glass, there was also room for a mystery romance.
On the night of said party someone (Almost definately not me) performed an act of infidelity in my bed, this is apparant because I found a "moist" thong in my room. The act must have occured while my drunken brother Ked had passed out on my matress. This worries me.
Who does the thong belong to.... why did they leave it.... who did they have sex with.... or did someone violate my unconcious brother.... I will never know....
I don't think it was me.... I'm pretty sure.......................
Okay, out of all of us, Mzebonga would look best in a thong.
That's how desperate it is here.
I look great in a thong, thanks. You're all just jealous.