I am so moved by the plight of rubber chickens, I felt compelled to make this emotional appeal!
What a sorry looking creature it is, devoid of feathers, entrails and persona. Fixed in a state of advanced rigor mortis, with it's bulging watery eyes reflecting a pathetic and pointless existance. Please, people, love your rubber chickens, for God's sake, embrace the poor bastards. Join the Conservation League for Atificial Poultry! Peace brothers!
I say join!! Join, dammit!!
What about Plastic Turkies? You don't hear about them anymore, not since the bottom dropped out of the market. So, help the homeless Plastic Turkies and rally to the support of the Rubber Chickens! Do it now, before all the artificially created poultry has disappeared from your life.