My friend Caffeinecruise has exceptionally conicular nipples. One of them is Versuvius and the other is known as Mt. Etna. This is because they resemble large mountains in the middle of his chest.
They amuse me greatly.
Somebody recently asked me to tell them something rude and amusing. I replied to them: "Nipple Clamps".
I think I might the requirements of that request with considerable aplomb.