They're great fun.
You can smash glass and make delightful noises.
You can throw them at people.
You can take out old nails and pound in new ones.
You can threaten people with them.
You can smash up fingers and heads with them.
They're not that expensive.
It's fun to yell. HAM-MER! HAM-MER!
It's classified as tool, not a weapon, but easily works as one.
Everyone should have one.
It's easy to figure out how to use it.
It makes you feel powerful.