BogDamus

In days of yore (i.e.; a long time ago), a bloke called Nostradamus came up with a bunch of vague predictions that seemed to mirror things that happened in real life. What are the odds that we can do better?
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1st February

No predictions for this date yet...

Also predicted for February

Monday, 7th February 2394: The Church of Scientology officially buys the Catholic Church proving once and for all that it was all about the money.
Posted by Mzebonga on Monday, 20th July 2009
Monday, 25th February 2013: Nicholas Cage receives an Oscar for his latest movie "Some Addict Guy Dies Most Horribly But Goes On A Spiritual Journey After Learning He Has Weeks To Live".

The movie is critically acclaimed but considered by the general public to be poorly-acted, self-congratulatory bollocks - much like Denzel Washington in Training Day.

The win is taken as proof positive that the Academy Awards have no basis in reality and due to overwhelming viewer pressure, the only network that has the sheer balls (or lack of cognitive capacity) to continue showing them is Fox.
Posted by Mzebonga on Monday, 20th July 2009

Also predicted between January and March

Wednesday, 11th March 2364: Emperor Versace Hilton (descendent of the house of socialite, Paris Hilton) is born.

Despite being born with the severe and near life-threatening range of diseases that have plagued his family for centuries and evolved into semi-intelligent life themselves, he manages to usher in a new era of prosperity that slowly revives the fortunes for the tattered remnants of humankind.
Posted by Mzebonga on Monday, 20th July 2009
1st January in the year Old Woman On A Bicycle: Scientists get bored of numbers and announce to the world that the year will be named by unanimous vote of a committee of scientists who will chose a name based on random things they see on their walk to work.
Posted by Mzebonga on Monday, 20th July 2009
Sunday, 15th January 2068: Aliens invade the Earth and dominate mankind, forcing them to harvest runner beans that will fuel their spaceship on its final leg to their homeworld of Boenen.
Posted by Mzebonga on Monday, 20th July 2009
Saturday, 2nd March 2075: After 7 years of their rule, our Alien overlords leave to return to their homeworld.
Posted by Mzebonga on Monday, 20th July 2009
Saturday, 4th March 2023: Former Vice President Dick Cheney dies aged 82, while imprisoned for war crimes in Germany.

A national holiday is declared in Iraq where effigies are burned and citizens shoot one another in the face with potato guns - to the cause of much hilarity.
Posted by Mzebonga on Monday, 20th July 2009
Monday, 24th March 2025: Gummi Bears are outlawed.

Germany goes on a rampage again. Poland and Czechoslovakia get a bit nervous and petition the United Nations to repeal the act. They do. Everything is right with the world again.

Except for the existence of Gummi Bears.
Posted by Mzebonga on Monday, 20th July 2009
Thursday, 1st January 2015: Constipation will be abolished.
Posted by Festus on Monday, 27th July 2009
Wednesday, 15th January 2025: All hens will have to give written consent before their eggs are removed.
Posted by Festus on Friday, 9th October 2009
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