In days of yore (i.e.; a long time ago), a bloke called Nostradamus came up with a bunch of vague predictions that seemed to mirror things that happened in real life. What are the odds that we can do better?
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1st October

No predictions for this date yet...

Also predicted for October

Tuesday, 14th October 2397: The Church of Scientology begins to divide up Vatican City amongst its rich patrons. "St Peter's Square" is renamed "Xenu's Great Launchpad" and Tom Cruise's face is painted over Adam's on the roof of the Sistine Chapel (becoming the "Creation of Tom" instead of the "Creation of Adam").

Historians decry the event and weep as thousands of priceless, ancient texts dating back to the alleged time of Jesus become framed decorations for John Travolta's toilet.

Ultimately, the entire city nation is abandoned as angry scholars from around the globe chase the Hollywood A-listers back to California where they belong.
Posted by Mzebonga on Monday, 20th July 2009
Friday, 23rd October 2020: Chester erects an enormous "Hollyoaks" sign to honour 25 years since the show began.

A bunch of blonde-haired bints who haven't really done anything worth noting show up to unveil it.
Posted by Mzebonga on Monday, 24th August 2009

Also predicted between September and November

Monday, 14th September 2516: Emperor Versace Hilton dies aged 152.

His body had been legally dead for 68 years but, much loved by his subjects, his head was maintained beyond his 84th year.

As part of a clear conspiracy, his closest advisors during this time failed to mention to the rest of humanity that, since the procedure, the Emperor's head merely uttered nonsensical babble believed by many scholars to be first stages of communication displayed by the microscopic organisms (evolved from syphilis) that had been in his family for many generations.
Posted by Mzebonga on Monday, 20th July 2009
Thursday, 8th September 2011: The new Cartoon Network series "Tickle the Giant Cock" is criticised for having strong sexual undertones.
Posted by Mzebonga on Monday, 20th July 2009
Wednesday, 1st September 2466: September is renamed "Keith".
Posted by Mzebonga on Monday, 20th July 2009
Saturday, 12th November 2011: After deciding that he has finally made enough money (with a personally fortune greater than the national GDP of Paraguay), Bill Gates starts giving Windows Vista away without charge.

Number of instances of people voluntarily using Vista increases by 300,000 in the first month but is only 4 the following month (those 4 not knowing how to uninstall the cluster-fucked operating system).
Posted by Mzebonga on Monday, 20th July 2009
Tuesday, 28th September 2010: Something funny happens involving Silvio Berlusconi and a spatula.
Posted by Mzebonga on Monday, 20th July 2009
Wednesday, 18th November 2009: The credit crunch ends but no one except politicians and Rupert Murdoch has any money left.
Posted by Mzebonga on Saturday, 25th July 2009
Friday, 20th November 2015: All turds will be of a uniform size and weight. Any turds not conforming to these standards will be confiscated.
Posted by Festus on Saturday, 1st August 2009
Tuesday, 10th September 2080: I'll be dead!
Posted by Festus on Tuesday, 6th October 2009