BogBanter

BogBanter is what happens when you give a small number typewriters to a similar number of monkeys: far from the works of Shakespeare, you get this tripe.
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Employee of the Month

JCP announces the employee of the month - to much consternation. (from the All About section)
Ran from Friday, 1st September 2006 to Thursday, 14th September 2006 (13 days)
Suggested by George on Friday, 1st September 2006

JCP (Friday, 1st September 2006, 00:00) : I'd like to announce that Mzebonga is the employee of the month here. Due to his hard work, diligence, and attention to detail, he has proven to be a valuable employee. We applaud his efforts to keep this place up and working, and for letting us abuse him.

While his true job can not provide him with even so much as a thank you after he's smashed his head against a brick wall repeatedly, we here at BogGoblin do indeed appreciate him. Itís not much, but he can print this off and hold it close on those cold British nights.

Congrats to Mzebonga!

George (Friday, 1st September 2006, 00:00) : Mzebonga knows we all love him dearly, but we don't need to say it.

I think JCP got a blow job off him.

Ew.

Festus (Friday, 1st September 2006, 00:00) : Why honour the snivelling little turd thus? He's not a bad chap as reprobates go, and his recidivist tendencies are in decline. But the little shite raids my home, steals my food and torments my cats. I reckon he owes JCP wonga!!

Festus (Friday, 1st September 2006, 00:00) : I am sure that JCP was around - a fleeting glimpse perhaps?
It must have been my imagination. Shit! George is a hologram, Mzebonga is an alien and I am fucking insane. Get off this website!

Festus (Sunday, 3rd September 2006, 00:00) : Hairy-assed, bastard, son-of-a-bitch; I'll kill him!

Festus (Monday, 4th September 2006, 00:00) : I apologise for that mindless outburst; I am suitably contrite and ashamed. Many, many, many peopel have asked to whom I was refering.
Okay. It was Bigears, he has been unfaithful to Noddy - again!
It's all too much.
Now - give me poppy juice and lead me back to my cell.

Mzebonga (Wednesday, 6th September 2006, 00:00) : I thought it was a disappointing sequel. While the first instalment was a laugable attempt to convey the full spectrum of rage within the human condition, it gained cult status through the simplicity of its violent and often humorous message.

In stark contrast, the follow-up was criticised for being too long and over-complicating what was widely viewed as an over-worked response to an acclaimed original piece. The references to popular children's culture left many people disappointed and calling this instalment a "cheap sell out"[1] to "commercial forces (as sponsored by the estate of Enid Blyton)"[2].

All in all, a sad apology interjected into the midst of a promising saga.

[1] Daley Thompson Express (* out of *****)
[2] They Are A-Changing Times (*** out of **********)

Festus (Tuesday, 5th September 2006, 00:00) : Why bother?

Mzebonga (Friday, 8th September 2006, 00:00) : Yes, an excellent question... WHY NOT? What else are you going to do? So, why bother when it would be so much easier not to?

JFK said man would go to the moon not because it was easy but because it was hard. This is my website and I said I will try to squeeze every last drop of humour from your posts as possible not because it is easy but because it is hard.

I've probably used the word hard enough for George to need a private moment.

Festus (Friday, 8th September 2006, 00:00) : Exquisite, perfection. This website has set new standards in web excellence. Not to be missed, Boggoblin deserves a web Oscar. (Now, please give me back the money you owe me!!)

Festus (Friday, 8th September 2006, 00:00) : Oh yes! We are a happy family here on Boggoblin. Bizarre, eccentric, vile, vulgar and completely indiscrete. You can rely on Boggoblin!

JCP (Thursday, 14th September 2006, 00:00) : That's right, we all know it's true!
Look at you all and your sad little posts while I'm away; it's obvious that I'm the glue that holds this place together.

Seeing that we're all such good friends, you'll help me move right?
Great.